[Heineken]

I am having what I call a "strange time." A lengthy period when I don't feel like I'm quite me. When the people I know suddenly don't seem like the people I know---or, more bluntly, when I feel totally alone. When nothing seems to work quite right. When my body feels not quite sick, but not fully healthy either. When the whole world seems off-kilter.

Nothing is normal. Everything is strange.

I feel like a ship in a bad storm. The ship has rolled way over and is fighting to return to even keel.

I am struggling to get back to center. Perhaps I will get there. I think I will get there. I've had "strange times" before.

Do any of you relate to these feelings? Do you have "strange times"?

Thanks for sharing.

[Don35]

Yeah, been there too. Nothing satisfies, nothing seems to bring happiness. It passes as does everything else in life. I remember that I am more than my thoughts or emotions and smile knowing it will change. Nothing is permanent! Whatever it is that needs to be felt, feel it! That's the buddhist in me.

[Heineken]

Thanks Shanny.

I'm not sure if how I'm feeling can be traced to events or is primarily chemical.

Superficially it is like depression, but it seems more existential than that.

It feels as though I'm trying to get back to being myself. That's the best way I can put it. I'm not precisely sure what "myself" is, but I know it when I'm there. And I'm not there, so I'm gasping for air.

[Heineken]

Nothing is permanent!

That can work for you or against you. I just hope I'm moving closer to my "center," and not farther away.

[seazar]

You're not alone! I'm going through the same thing. Worked all my life and thought I was set when I retired and now I see my IRA disappearing and my property values going down, down, down.

I am just taking things one day at a time right now. I feel like I am in a fog just muddling along!

[Ferretlover]

I took a cruise on that same ship a few weeks ago, Heineken. Most unsettling at the time.

[Cog]

@ Heineken

Although I do not post much, I read extensively every thread on this board and have a fairly good feel of how people are here. You have always struck me as intelligent and well- balanced in your approach to Peak Oil and the financial crisis that is in front of us. I wonder if your knowledge of these events is somehow making you feel disconnected from the people in your life?

As for me, there are some weeks when I go to work or interact with my wife and daughter that I feel isolated from them and my co-workers. I see things happening that can only be described as horrible and I feel that I'm very much alone with that knowledge and it feels like I'm carrying a burden on my shoulders. I bring things back into balance, at least in my own life, by doing things that seem normal to me. Like reading a good book or just go on an extended walk with my dog. That seems real to me enough to get my mind off what is going on in the world.

I am a solitary person by nature and its easy to just get inside myself and isolate my experience with others but I know at some point I must break that cycle and do something different.

I doubt I have helped you much but that is how I am and you can PM me anytime you want to talk about anything that is making you feel disconnected.

[Daniel_Plainview]

Great thread.

I also have been experiencing a lack of grounding and centeredness. To the extent I can pinpoint the root causes, they are:

1. The realization that my once beloved country (USA) is about to go t!ts up as a result of incompetence, corruption, greed, deception, lack of foresight, and profligate spending;

2. The realization that peak oil will exacerbate the foregoing;

3. The realization that peak oil will likely vaporize a good chunk of my profession, and render useless my doctorate degree;

4. The realization that 99.99% of the population remains clueless as to what is fundamentally important in life and in preserving the future of civilization and this planet; and

5. The dichotomy I face every day that, on the one hand, I witness the very fabric of society disintegrating beyond repair, and such disintegration is increasing exponentially; and yet, on the other hand, I nevertheless work and function within this matrix as though nothing were wrong, and participate in our dysfunctional society as though it still has a future.

[Pops]

The time I was least happy was what I think of as my Slacks period.

I tried to feel good in fancy pants but they just didn't fit me as good as my old work jeans.

I have no idea what you are trying on but you need to check the fit.


Hang in there buddy.

[Zel]

I've had quite a few 'strange times'. They seem to come in cycles. I woke up a few years ago and realized I didn't know who I was. (Still searching for that one.) After talking with some family members recently, I've decided I don't know who they are, either.

As for the not feeling right, I've been off balance since daylight savings time, and now the cooler weather change has me feeling yuck ~ not bad, just not right.

For me, this usually means I've moved too far away from the things that give me pleasure and peace - exercising daily, art, writing, meditation. I've been neglecting all of them and it makes me soul sick. It can also mean that I'm in a 'growth phase' and my feeling of being lost is pushing my focus back to the things that really matter.

Someone once told me that spiritual transitions are the most painful and confusing, especially since we don't realize we went through one until it's behind us.

[bromius]

Glad to see you posting again Heineken. I noticed you hadn't been around for some time and hoped everything was OK. These are stressful times, and it puts a lot of wear and tear on even the best made mind. Sometimes that means taking it into the shop, taking it all apart, and putting it all back together again, better, faster, stronger.

I had a session where I was in my metaphorical garage for a few weeks and didn't answer my phone at all. The outside world becomes a problem, even though what I'm doing is usually necessary. Things are moving in a better direction for me now and I hope they do so for you as well.

[threadbear]

Heineken, Have you had your thyroid checked?

[PrairieMule]

Since May of 2007 I have weathered a dozen plauges. I got laid off, my ex ran off with someone I knew, had to sell my house, lost my kids and financially wiped out by my ex.

Yet on the flip side: I got a better job making a lot more money , my ex couldn't touch my commercial or agriculture property (which has shot up in value), spent a week in Asia and my kids still think the sun irradiates from smile.

To quote Denzel: King Kong a'int got nothing on me!


Oh yeah I had a hot little number 9 years my juinor refer to me as "Handsome" today.

[SpringCreekFarm]

This has been a bad year for me. I too, have been walking around in a fog making decisions around the farmstead that have not panned out a I thought they would. Working myself physically to near breaking points. Worrying about the future and how my wife may never be on board and thinking of how our 2 year old son will fare in this world of upcoming hardship.

I think the fog or daze is a coping mechanism for us. we've all looked at this peak oil thing from so many angles now, that in order to keep from going outwardly insane, we turn inwards and go on auto pilot. It keeps us going from day to day. Recognize it, accept it and look for what makes you happy in life. Do that. It would be a shame to get to the end of it all and regretted not having more fun.

[Ayame]

Sounds to me like you are experiencing depersonalisation.

I get it whenever I go through a depressive cycle.

what is depersonalisation?

[Madpaddy]

I must admit to a total lack of motivation or raison d'etre at the moment. Sounds a bit like your condition Heineken but not as severe.

At work, I feel like the street cleaner who has been told to clear the leaves in early Autumn and there is a gale about to blow. Utterly pointless.

To prairiemule, well done. As I found myself, the only thing that gets you over the last girl is the next girl.

[Bas]

I must admit to a total lack of motivation or raison d'etre at the moment. Sounds a bit like your condition Heineken but not as severe.

At work, I feel like the street cleaner who has been told to clear the leaves in early Autumn and there is a gale about to blow. Utterly pointless.

I feel like that a lot lately and I don't really seem to be able to figure out how to change it, small things seem like a huge effort too and I get a bit anxious from time to time feeling so aimless.

looks like you're not alone Heineken

[skeptik]

This is I think, a fairly common experience for many people at some time or another in their lives. A philosopher would call it 'alienation'. A neuroscientist would call it 'cognitive dissonance'. - when what you experience in everyday life clashes with what you believe or know to be true.

The parallel is with sea sickness. The experienced feeling is due to a mismatch of info being supplied by the inner ears and eyes to the brain. The brain cannot reconcile what its being told by the two separate senses and freaks out. In the case of seasickness, the answer is to shut down one of the senses - either by lying down and keeping the eyes firmly shut, or by shutting down the inner ear with meds.

In the case of 'strange times', alienation, or cognitive dissonance, the answer is to shut down the brain, temporarily. Disconnect from whatever subject is causing the dissonance, in this case your vision of the future caused by PO - refocus on the everyday, go on a Catholic or Budhist retreat, or similar. Take up meditation or knitting

....Go back to ranch in Crawford and cut brush!

Somehow you've just got to stop thinking about it for a while and give the mind a chance to heal itself.

[CarlinsDarlin]

Indeed, you are not alone Heineken. I've had similar times in my life. One in particular was very much like you describe. I found that I needed to return to my roots, because "where I was" in my life just didn't fit. You can try to make yourself fit many places, but there is only one place you'll be comfortable. I had to learn where that place was and return there. It was a journey (just the self-discovery phase was a struggle at times), but I made it "back home."

Someone I respect said you cannot "should upon" other people. You should do this, you should do that... and it applies to yourself, too. Don't get yourself buried under all the things you "should" be doing or how you "should" be living.

Sit down and re-examine your current state of affairs. Like Pops said, it may just be that you've tried to fit into something/somewhere that just doesn't. Perhaps you've listened to one too many "shoulds" and it's time to just get back to being you.

Good luck.
K

[Heineken]

Many excellent posts. I've read them all carefully. Nice to see some familiar, friendly names, as well as nice new faces.

I am struck by our demand, as individuals, for constant, high-quality maintenance. Not just for basics like food and shelter but also for inner, psychic equilibrium.

This maintenance requires so damned much ENERGY.

Maybe that's my problem: a personal energy crisis. What seemed fairly effortless and natural now seems like something I have to do consciously and against resistance.

I keep asking myself, Is the world changing, or is it me that is changing?

(Yes, T-bear, it could be my thyroid hormone levels. My brother says, "Everything is chemical.")