[Rod_Cloutier]

At 45 I still have a living Grandmother who was born in 1929. I went to visit her today in the personal care home. She was dead set against being put into a senior home after her experiences with her own mother in a personal care home in the 1980's. Many personal care homes have evolved from being institutions where you just put the elderly away, to fully engaged active living centers where they have common rooms, singing, and a host of daily scheduled events.

I felt at ease and a sense of relief in visiting her there seeing how far personal care homes have come.

I do worry though what will happen in the event of economic or social collapse? Young people have options, they can work longer hours, move, fight, ect, however options open to seniors are very limited. The Baby-boomer bulge coming up in the next decade or so in combination with pressures from peak oil, climate change, and financial collapse will prove challenging for most boomers.

[Cog]

A bit of an update. I went to go see the guy who does my personal returns for advice on filing the final death tax return and the estate tax return next year. Those can be filed simultaneously. In my state you can file the estate tax return in August of next year. Based on the erroneous advice of the person at H&R block who has normally done my father's tax returns, I will be going with my guy to do them. His old tax person thought the sale of the farm was a taxable event, its not. She also thought that pay on death stock transfers were taxable to the estate, they aren't. So check around if you think you are getting bad advice. Estate and final death returns can be complex, particularly if the estate makes money while the estate is being settled.

I leave the tax stuff to the professionals. The more I researched estate tax returns the more confused I was. A good CPA or estate tax guy can make a lot of complications go away.

I'm doing some distributions to the grandchildren mentioned in the will. I don't have to do that until the statutory period of six months is over for claims to be filed against the estate. But I did so because I am very familiar with my dad's financial situation by being his guardian for the past two years. Its a risk because of the precedence of payments(IRS, funeral homes, legal expenses, medical) but you can make that call if you are comfortable that there are no potential claims on the estate. Leave a good cushion of money to pay lawyers and tax professionals at the end before you empty out the estate account. As the executor, you are financially responsible if you screw this up.

[Donetsk]

What happens with the elderly who have dem/Alz but have no money or relatives close enough to care? The bus takes care of them? Dehydration? State ?

[Cog]

A small update to how the executor deal is working out. Filed the personal and estate tax return. There is where keeping every receipt, every transaction, and every check written comes into play.

Since my father required skilled nursing care, i.e. dementia wing of the nursing home, I was able to deduct all of that on his return. Also medications. Also, my father had a big capital loss on the sell of some stocks some years ago which he was deducting at the maximum rate of $3000/year. When that person dies, you can deduct all of the remainder of that loss from his income or sale of stocks that occurred in the tax year that he died in. Since I had to sell some profitable stocks in 2016, to pay for his care, this was a very useful deduction. He ended up getting money back and that will go into the estate account.

The actual estate earned no income so that was fairly easy to file. He paid in nothing and got nothing back.

The court surprised my attorney and me a bit by requesting a status update on the estate. This is normally something done 12-18 months after the person has died. Its not even been 9 months. But the court is entitled to this information and we have it. The only thing left to do is wait for the tax refunds and disburse whatever remains to the three children. My attorney will file the status update to the court and we will do a final once all the money is in place.

The main thing I've learned through this process is not to subject my daughter to it. Pay on death on most of your accounts can avoid nearly all the probate process. Make sure at least one account is pay to the estate. That way your executor has access to money to settle things. A lot of states even permit real estate to be transferred by pay on death.

[evilgenius]

If you are choosing a home you have to be very careful. You can't just look at the staff and make any assumptions about continued quality of care. Believe me, I deliver drugs to these kinds of places, and have for some time. The cast of characters who work at a place will change. Some places have good people working there only by chance. Other places have policies and procedures that help to ensure quality of care. Those help, but good management that knows how to inspire and motivate people who care in the first place is better. Some places treat their employees badly, and you can be deceived about what is going on when visiting. I've seen some pretty nasty things. And heard people who haven't seen those things praise the place. It's natural to praise, like how school kids will always back their teacher when the school wants to get rid of them. You've got to fight that impulse and look deeper. There are good places too.

[evilgenius]

As a for instance, I just read a story on my local paper's website about one of the places I deliver to. I've always considered that place kind of a sh*thole. I mostly made that determination because I've never seen anything but boredom from its residents. While group singing isn't my idea of paradise, at least it indicates that management cares enough to recognize they ought to get involved in the mental health of the people who live there. I've seen papers on the walls purporting to advertise activities, but I've only ever seen residents bored and either piled up at the nurse's stations staring or alone in their rooms. I've smelled and seen some bad things there in relation to this. A person visiting during the day trying to make a determination about the place, however, might be fooled because of an inherent bias toward benefit of doubt.

Well, this place had a supervisor rape a nurse. And he also pressured CNA's, who were fired when they complained about it. The nurse was fired too, and accused of stealing narcotics because the rape happened before she could record the pills she had given to a couple of residents. She was called to his office. Afterward she wept in a janitor's closet. They've had other sexual assaults take place there as well, not related to the supervisor. Management covered everything up. They didn't report any of it to the state body overseeing them. That body only found out from the reporters who investigated the crimes. They, apparently, took a look at how profitable the business is, tried for a cap on payouts for such incidents (accepting that it would be more expensive to manage the place in a manner that ensured these things wouldn't happen) and then let it roll.

I'm not providing any links because I don't want the fact I said anything about this to come back on me. Let's just say that my position is no more safe than hers in terms of an association with bringing the subject up in the first place. I'm an independent contractor. At this job we get looked at first when anything happens. That means I am always on the bubble.

[Cog]

This will be my last update to this thread. A year and three months later, I finally have my release from being an executor signed by the judge. During the final process, you have to account for all the money received by the estate and all the money disbursed. This is where good records come into play as your lawyer will be presenting this to the probate judge to examine.

How this works is your lawyer figures out his final bill to prepare this, you cut him/her a check as well as write out the final checks to any heirs. At that point the estate balance will be zero. Then a 45 day wait ensues during which the other heirs can object. Fortunately there was none of that here. I did have a problem with a nephew who would never return a receipt showing he has received his part of the inheritance. Same nephew that was still sore at me for not selling the farm to him for a discount. So I had to show cancelled checks and sign an affidavit to the effect that he had been paid.

But in the end you get a release signed by a judge saying your executor days are over and thus ends your responsibility to the legal system. I'll probably keep my dad's financials and documents for a few years just in case, but the ability of anyone to raise objections now is limited.

[Lavernebarker]

Good to hear this.

[Newfie]

Thanks for sharing all this.