by gg3 » Mon 01 Nov 2004, 02:34:36
Fastbike, you just won the prize for finding the largest number of execrables in one place.
Anyone who hasn't seen that article, go check it out, but keep a barf bag handy. (non-English speakers: barf bag = air sickness bag, or more generally, a container in which to vomit)
Back in 1981 or so I made the following prediction: The requirement for unlimited economic growth is as inherently inimical to the nuclear family as it has been to the extended family and the neighborhood community. For example, the appliance sector reaches a theoretical limit when every household is fully equipped with appliances: a fridge, washer, dryer, dishwasher, etc. After that point, the only way to increase demand for these goods is to break down the nuclear family into sub-units of single-parent families, each with its own household, thereby doubling the market for appliances... (See, even when I was a "college-radical," I was still pretty conservative, and nowadays I think the word "square" is cool:-)
Well, the prediction about breaking up families for economic reasons came true with a vengeance. But I never imagined that households would sprout multiple fridges! Least of all so people don't have to get up and walk to the kitchen!
I think we should call these things "Fatty Fridges" since their other main effect is to encourage unthinking consumption of calories, thereby contributing to what Aaron so brilliantly called "America's grotesque jewelry" (rolls of fat on peoples' bodies).
My moralistic side favors outlawing the more egregious examples directly, but my libertarian side says stick to a powerdown scenario with energy (and water) rationing, and let people freely choose what they want to use their energy for. If someone wants a showerhead at "below the belt" height, that they can set for Massage and get a Special Thrill, fine, they can do without clean clothes and they can crap in a bucket. If someone wants a big-screen TV, they can take cold showers, or power it from the high-tech exercise treadmill/generator that they buy to work off the calories gained from too many visits to the Fatty Fridge.
Lemmings. I swear! "Amusing ourselves to death."
By the way, here's another fatal flaw in a consumer-driven economy: Where "convenience" is a key competitive selling-point, the necessary result is the *infantilization* (making-infantile) of the consumer. Whatever need is being met, has to be met with less and less effort until the result is indistinguishable from going back to the womb. The Fatty Fridge is a key illustration.
First you have to walk to the kitchen. Then you get a Fatty Fridge in each room. Then you get a Home Robot to automatically stock the calories into the Fatty Fridges. Then the next step is that the Fatty Fridges are put on motorized wheels so they can roll right up to your Easy Chair when you press a button on your Universal Remote Control.
The next step is a radical redesign of the Fatty Fridge so it can automatically dispense your choice of excess calories and serve them up on a platter (like a Serving Robot), so you merely reach & eat without having to open the packaging. What comes next? A drinking-tube that's positioned where you merely need to turn your head in order to suck down the calories. And next, a machine that delivers the solid food to your mouth via a conveyor belt or robotic spoon, so you only have to open your mouth and wait for the calories to be inserted.
You see where this goes? The only further steps possible are to deliver pre-chewed "solid" food, pre-warmed, through a tube under slight pressure (so you only need to apply a very slight suction to obtain the calories). Just like being a baby and having Mom always at the ready with breast or bottle, and with a jar of Gerber's Baby Mush and a spoon.
Then we will also see the Easy Chair on Wheels, that drives you into the bathroom or bedroom. Eventually the bathroom itself will be replaced by a little protuberance on the Motorized Easy Chair, that you sit down upon and never have to worry about taking a poop in the middle of your favorite movie! And of course an attachable funnel so you don't have to get up to go pee.
And the bedroom itself will give way to the Easy Chair automatically turning itself into a bed, by reclining when it sees your brain emitting delta-frequency EEG signals. This will either come with an attachment that pulls some covers over you, or a radiant heater on an extendible arm, that uses up about 250 kilowatt-hours per month in lieu of having sheets and blankets, just to keep your oh-so-pampered body warm while you sleep like a proverbial baby (in more ways than one) in front of the always-on Big Screen.
Well folks, I just thought of a way to prevent it getting any worse. See my "inventors' co-op" topic (in the Energy Technology section) for this one, since there's a patent attorney corresponding there, for whom I have a vey special question in this regard. I do believe we can save the world from any further execrable appliances....! And I'm as serious as a heart attack about this.