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Venezuela: Establishment Talking Points Translation Key

Public Policy

Things keep heating up in Venezuela, with possible “military options” now being seriously discussed at the Pentagon. And of course you know what that means! That’s right, it means we can expect to see even more lies and manipulations from the political/media class as the narrative managers try to get their rapey little fingers into our minds to manufacture support for unconscionable acts.

This can create a very confusing environment for everyone, where up means down and black means white and “humanitarian intervention” means “murdering thousands and thousands of innocent human beings”. With that in mind, here’s a handy translation key to help you understand what the establishment mouthpieces are really saying:


“I stand with the people of Venezuela” = I stand with some of the people in Venezuela, specifically the ones who support US government interests.

“Interim President” = Some guy most Venezuelans had never heard of until January of this year.

“Brutal dictator” = Elected leader who opposes US dictates.

“Usurper” = The guy calling the shots and leading the country.

“Opposition-led, military-backed challenge” = Coup.

“The people of Venezuela are starving” = Oil! Oil! Oil!

“All options are on the table” = One option is on the table.

“Popular uprising” = Unpopular uprising.

“Grassroots activists” = Let’s pretend the CIA’s not a thing.

“Freedom and democracy” = US control of Venezuela’s petroleum resources.

“Humanitarian aid” = Pretext for further escalations.

“Failed socialist policies” = Inability to overcome US economic warfare.

“Foreign interference” = An ally of Venezuela supporting its ally.

“We support the National Assembly” = Foreign interference.

“The Venezuelan Constitution” = Our convenient interpretation of the Venezuelan Constitution.

“We can’t just sit around and do nothing” = I have learned nothing since the Iraq War.

“54 countries recognize Guaido as president” =  141 countries don’t recognize Guaido as president.

“Troika of tyranny” = John Bolton’s second-favorite masturbatory fantasy.

“Special Envoy to Venezuela” = Convicted war criminal.

“The Monroe Doctrine” = I think all the countries on this side of the planet are my personal property.

“Operación Libertad” = Operación Libertad para el Petróleo de Venezuela.

“Shut the fuck up, bitch.” = Standard talking point from Venezuela coup narrative managers on social media.

“Talk to Venezuelans” = Talk to the wealthier, English-speaking Venezuelans with abundant free time and internet access who support a coup.

“You love Maduro” = I don’t have an argument for your opposition to US interventionism.

“You’re just a socialist who loves socialism” = I don’t have an argument.

“Go live in Venezuela if you love socialism so much” = I don’t have an argument.

“Maduro is killing his own people” = Yeah I’m just making shit up now.

“Maduro refuses to let in aid” = I just believe whatever the TV says.

“Trump is liberating the people of Venezuela” = I just believe whatever QAnon says.

“This US regime change intervention will be different” = I have replaced my brain with shaving cream.

8 Comments on "Venezuela: Establishment Talking Points Translation Key"

  1. The Church Lady on Sun, 5th May 2019 2:55 pm 

    For deeply scared into DAVY’S scalp is inscribed HIS true identity, BEELZEBUB the BEAST, FATHER of LIES and WHORES.

  2. The Church Lady on Sun, 5th May 2019 2:59 pm 

    So it is written. So it shall be done.


  3. Davy post for sympathy on Sun, 5th May 2019 3:04 pm 

    Davy posted these for sympathy:

    The Church Lady on Sun, 5th May 2019 2:55 pm

    The Church Lady on Sun, 5th May 2019 2:59 pm

  4. Cloggie on Sun, 5th May 2019 3:39 pm 

    The western stooge in Venezuela, I forgot his name, admits his “uprising” is going nowhere:

    “Venezuelan opposition leader says he overestimated military support for his attempts to overthrow Maduro as family members hold a funeral for 14-year-old boy shot during protests in Caracas”

  5. Real Green on Sun, 5th May 2019 6:11 pm 

    “Fair and Balanced” = Davyturd is UNfair, and UNbalanced. As in mentally.

  6. peakyeast on Tue, 7th May 2019 11:14 am 

    I cant think negatively about someone who is the father of whores…

    What a great and giving man…

  7. Duncan Idaho on Wed, 8th May 2019 11:05 am 

    Well, Bolton got his ass kicked on this one.
    It is just too easy, the neocons are quite stupid.
    It is a requirement to join the club.

  8. Cloggie on Wed, 8th May 2019 11:23 am 

    Haha, nothing is happening in

    Power projection, my foot.

    And now back to the South China Sea. Or Brexit. Or the Arctic. Or US-Chinese trade. Some real topic.

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