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How To Defeat The Empire

Public Policy

One of the biggest and most consistent challenges of my young career so far has been finding ways to talk about solutions to our predicament in a way that people will truly hear. I talk about these solutions constantly, and some readers definitely get it, but others will see me going on and on about a grassroots revolution against the establishment narrative control machine and then say “Okay, but what do we do?” or “You talk about problems but never offer any solutions!”

Part of the difficulty is that I don’t talk much about the old attempts at solutions we’ve already tried that people have been conditioned to listen for. I don’t endorse politicians, I don’t advocate starting a new political party, I don’t support violent revolution, I don’t say that capitalism contains the seeds of its own destruction and the proletariat will inevitably rise up against the bourgeoisie, and in general I don’t put much stock in the idea that our political systems are in and of themselves sufficient for addressing our biggest problems in any meaningful way.

What I do advocate, over and over and over again in as many different ways as I can come up with, is a decentralized guerrilla psywar against the institutions which enable the powerful to manipulate the way ordinary people think, act and vote.

I talk about narrative and propaganda all the time because they are the root of all our problems. As long as the plutocrat-controlled media are able to manufacture consent for the status quo upon which those plutocrats built their respective empires, there will never be the possibility of a successful revolution. People will never rebel against a system while they’re being successfully propagandized not to. It will never, ever happen.

Most people who want drastic systematic changes to the way power operates in our society utterly fail to take this into account. Most of them are aware to some extent that establishment propaganda is happening, but they fail to fully appreciate its effects, its power, and the fact that it’s continually getting more and more sophisticated. They continue to talk about the need for a particular political movement, for this or that new government policy, or even for a full-fledged revolution, without ever turning and squarely focusing on the elephant in the room that none of these things will ever happen as long as most people are successfully propagandized into being uninterested in making them happen.

It’s like trying to light a fire without first finding a solution to the problem that you’re standing under pouring rain. Certainly we can all agree that a fire is sorely needed because it’s cold and wet and miserable out here, but we’re never going to get one going while the kindling is getting soaked and we can’t even get a match lit. The first order of business must necessarily be to find a way to protect our fire-starting area from the downpour of establishment propaganda.

A decentralized guerrilla psywar against the propaganda machine is the best solution to this problem.

By psywar I mean a grassroots psychological war against the establishment propaganda machine with the goal of weakening public trust in pro-empire narratives. People only believe sources of information that they trust, and propaganda cannot operate without belief. Right now trust in the mass media is at an all-time low while our ability to network and share information is at an all-time high. Our psywar is fought with the goal of using our unprecedented ability to circulate information to continue to kill public trust in the mass media, not with lies and propaganda, but with truth. If we can expose journalistic malpractice and the glaring plot holes in establishment narratives about things like war, Julian Assange, Russia etc, we will make the mass media look less trustworthy.

By decentralized I mean we should each take responsibility for weakening public trust in the propaganda machine in our own way, rather than depending on centralized groups and organizations. The more centralized an operation is, the easier it is for establishment manipulators to infiltrate and undermine it. This doesn’t mean that organizing is bad, it just means a successful grassroots psywar won’t depend on it. If we’re each watching for opportunities to weaken public trust in the official narrative makers on our own personal time and in our own unique way using videos, blogs, tweets, art, paper literature, conversations and demonstrations, we’ll be far more effective.

By guerrilla I mean constantly attacking different fronts in different ways, never staying with the same line of attack for long enough to allow the propagandists to develop a counter-narrative. If they build up particularly strong armor around one area, put it aside and expose their lies on an entirely different front. The propagandists are lying constantly, so there is never any shortage of soft targets. The only consistency should be in attacking the propaganda machine as visibly as possible.

As far as how to go about that attack, my best answer is that I’m leading by example here. I’m only ever doing the thing that I advocate, so if you want to know what I think we should all do, just watch what I do. I’m only ever using my own unique set of skills, knowledge and assets to attack the narrative control engine at whatever points I perceive to be the most vulnerable on a given day.

So do what I do, but keep in mind that each individual must sort out the particulars for themselves. We’ve each got our own strengths and abilities that we bring to the psywar: some of us are funny, some are artistic, some are really good at putting together information and presenting it in a particular format, some are good at finding and boosting other people’s high-quality attacks. Everyone brings something to the table. The important thing is to do whatever will draw the most public interest and attention to what you’re doing. Don’t shy away from speaking loud and shining bright.

It isn’t necessary to come up with your own complete How It Is narrative of exactly what is happening in our world right now; with the current degree of disinformation and government opacity that’s too difficult to do with any degree of completion anyway. All you need to do is wake people up in as many ways as possible to the fact that they’re being manipulated and deceived. Every newly opened pair of eyes makes a difference, and anything you can do to help facilitate that is energy well spent.

Without an effective propaganda machine, the empire cannot rule. Once we’ve crippled public trust in that machine, we’ll exist in a very different world already, and the next step will present itself from there. Until then, the attack on establishment propaganda should be our foremost priority.

124 Comments on "How To Defeat The Empire"

  1. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 4:30 pm 

    Caitlin said: “The important thing is to do whatever will draw the most public interest and attention to what you’re doing. Don’t shy away from speaking loud and shining bright.”
    Basically she says: Everything goes, and the truth doesn’t matter – as long as it serves the communist party’s long term goals.

  2. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 5:11 pm 

    If Caitlin had been a chines, she would have been immediatly silenced.
    Where is the criticism of chinese internet censureship ?

  3. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 5:38 pm 

    Defeating one empire, to help another.
    Caitlin can’t see that the relatively benevolent empire that she is fighting against, is about to be overrun by the even more fascistic China, where all the freedoms that she enjoys today are all taken away.

  4. makati1 on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 8:52 pm 

    “Relatively benevolent” claes? The world’s biggest terrorist organization is the US, murdering millions over the last 70 yeas. How many countries has China invaded?

    How many million of Amerika’s poor have been elevated to middle class in the last 30 years? China has elevated more than the entire population of police state Amerika.

    You guzzle too much US Sinophobe propaganda!

  5. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 9:12 pm 

    Mak, Then why are the all longing for the US and Europe.
    Why aren’t they breaking the chinese borders, why aren’t they all wishing for the chinese stile of life.
    Because the white stile of life, with all it’s bad sides, after all is a better way to live.
    Mao murdered 40millions of his own, Stalin 20mill, polpot 2mill,
    The greatest murderes in the 20th century were all communists

  6. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 9:27 pm 

    Mak, i’m not saying that capitalism is all good, I,m just saying that communism is worse.

    “The iron law of oligarchy” seems to thrive especialy well in communist countries.

  7. makati1 on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 9:40 pm 

    claes, your “white style of life is on intensive care and is dying. You better to adjust to that reality. Shades of tan is the future for all countries.

    How many Native Americans were murdered to make your comfy lifestyle possible? Millions. How many Middle Easterners? Millions. Latinos? Millions. Even Filipinos?Hundreds of thousands. Many, and it is still happening. Some estimate the total deaths caused by the US since WW2 exceeds 20 million and may be as high as 30+ million. All to gain resources and power.

    You are saturated with Sinophobe and Russophobe propaganda. Have you ever been to China? I have many times, especially Hong Kong. You have no idea what it is really like. It makes the US look like a slum, which it is. You already live in a police state.

    “Thanks To Tech Totalitarians, US Already Has A China-Style “Social Credit System””

    The sooner the US goes down, the better for the rest of the world. Soon, I hope.

  8. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 9:40 pm 

    Oops, I forgot that the western world killed of 6mil jews, but for some reason the jewish people still love us. Now explain that.

  9. makati1 on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 9:59 pm 

    Really claes? You are including Amerikans with German Nazis? Interesting!

    But then, Amerikans are becoming just like the Nazis of old aren’t they? “Papers please!”

  10. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 10:05 pm 

    “white style of life is on intensive care and is dying. You better to adjust to that reality. Shades of tan is the future for all countries.”

    White people must try to congregate and specify their racial, social, political and territorial demands for the survival of the western culture , including Russia.

    The P’s, chinese, blacks etc can do likewise, and we wouldn’t mind.
    But the whites aren’t going down without some kicking and screaming.

  11. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 10:10 pm 

    Mak, remember to learn this: 论文请 (“papers please” in chinese, google translation)

  12. makati1 on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 10:30 pm 

    Sorry claes, you still are so phobic you will never see reality. Whitey is a dying breed. Yes, I am white. 14 generations from Germany. So what?

    I have more tan friends than white. I relate with them as easily, if not more so, than my white friends who are mostly greedy, brainwashed Amerikans.

    I have a black friend from the US coming to live here with us next year. He will be the only one in the area other than a young black student from Africa. I live in a tan world. No problem.

    The “whites” will just fade into the sunset, claes. There is no “fight” left. It has all been bred and brainwashed out. The US is breeding/raising gender-bender “snowflakes”. LMAO

  13. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 10:32 pm 

    correction: “White people must try to congregate and specify their racial, social, political and territorial demands for the survival of the western culture , including Russia AND THE JEWS.”

  14. claes on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 10:59 pm 

    Mak,actually you migth be right about the whites fading away, and with that all the intellectual and spiritual power that once created the modern world.
    Going down with the whites are the buddhist faith in Tibet. The last bastions of reason will slowly disappear.

    Mak, I guess you win this one. Sleep tight

  15. Cloggie on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 11:34 pm 

    “Oops, I forgot that the western world killed of 6mil jews, but for some reason the jewish people still love us. Now explain that.”

    What’s your proof for that? If you trace back that story, you discover that international jewry tried to insert that story for more than a century ago:

    They tortured the Germans into holo-confessions. The standard Anglo method was kicking in the testicles.

    In Nuremberg, where 70% of the staff was jewish, they finally got their story rammed through. Where did you get the idea that they “love” us? They are the single most important group that tries to wipe us out, through promotion of mass third world immigration.

    Don’t know the author C. Johnstone, but she seems to address the correct enemy: deep state and media, incl. Wikipedia:

    That’s a promising start.

    “your “white style of life is on intensive care and is dying. You better to adjust to that reality. Shades of tan is the future for all countries.”

    You wouldn’t mind that mak, now do you? Wonder why that is…

    “The “whites” will just fade into the sunset, claes. There is no “fight” left. It has all been bred and brainwashed out. The US is breeding/raising gender-bender “snowflakes”. LMAO”

    The white world is a little bigger than the US. I wouldn’t bet the farm that Greater Europe will likewise just roll over and die, like the US does. But the entire anti-white disaster originates from the US, since 1945 and it is all media engineered and it is all jews.

    I don’t like the moloch China, but the country could provide great services to the white race in giving the empire a thorough beating in East-Asia, prompting a civil war of secession in the US. It would be the best thing that could happen to whitey world-wide. I’m counting the days. Whitey needs to start all over again. Formula to get there: continental Europe taking over from globalist Anglos. EU+Russia. For this purpose Trump and Brexit are a Godsent. The West needs to be demolished, 1989-style. And it is going to happen.

  16. Cloggie on Tue, 10th Sep 2019 11:37 pm 

    ““White people must try to congregate and specify their racial, social, political and territorial demands for the survival of the western culture , including Russia AND THE JEWS.””


  17. Cloggie on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 12:40 am 

    “Jeremy Corbyn’s plot to drag UK back to the ’70s: Labour party leader wants to hand huge powers to unions and would even give state officials the right to enter workplaces and prosecute bosses”

    It would probably end globalism, the largest threat to the survival of the English people.

    “Uh… What Did Pompeo Mean When He Vowed To “Push Back” Against Corbyn?”

    London is too Tory rich already. Five regions in England are the poorest in western Europe. A little redistribution wouldn’t do any harm.

  18. Theedrich on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 12:40 am 

    The White genosuicidists of the West must exit.  The only chance for this will be global economic and (perhaps) ecological collapse.  Currently all doomer talk is ridiculed, sometimes rightly.  But there are many solid facts which portend an ominous future.  Consider:

    “Peer polities then tend to undergo long periods of upwardly-spiraling competitive costs, and downward marginal returns.  This is terminated finally by domination of one and acquisition of a new energy subsidy (as in Republican Rome and Warring States China), or by mutual collapse (as among the Myceneaeans and the Maya).  Collapse, if and when it comes again, will this time be global.  No longer can any individual nation collapse.  World civilization will disintegrate as a whole.  Competitors who evolve as peers collapse in like manner.”

     —  Joseph A. Tainter, The Collapse of Complex Societies, Cambridge University Press, 1988, 1992, p. 214.

    Then there is the fact of receding arctic ice, observable in many photographs and reported by much scientific research.  Whether caused by human activity or not, this ongoing recession does not bode well for the 7½ billion homines sapientes currently extant, so many of whom are even now utterly dependent on Whitey for their existence.

    Next to consider is the insane scam of borrowing unrepayable amounts of money from the future to squander on present power plays and unnecessary goodies (including $½ trillion per annum for narcotics in the U.S.).  As if the piper will never come to get his pay.  The legislators are corrupt to the bone, and the Democrats are now even surreptitiously seeking for a new Stalin to put Whitey in his place and make everyone equal in a Workers’ Paradise.

    Then there is the inundation of the western White world by dark semi-humanoids demanding complete surrender of White women and property to their clutches.  All of this is helped by anti-White legalists supported by BigJews who hate European civilization.

    It is today almost impossible to learn what is happening by attending only to the American video media.  Most of their output is pure propaganda.  Only through foreign (including antogonistic) media sources and the internet can one glean some idea of what is truly going on.

    So when collapse comes, it will, like an earthquake, be completely unexpected.

  19. claes on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 12:41 am 

    I see jews as an indispensable part of european culture, But why can’t they just stop their continuing guilt propaganda against the europeans for what happened nearly a century ago.
    I am personally sick and tired of it. I guess that goes for a lot of other people too. SO STOP IT.

  20. claes on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 12:51 am 

    clogg: really- NOT minus the eastsibirian jews. We need them. Russia needs them, Europe needs them.

  21. Cloggie on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 12:52 am 

    White American sent to jail for 11 years for setting a wooden cross on fire:

    Not that the judge is a christian, but a bolshevik.

  22. Cloggie on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 1:09 am 

    “I see jews as an indispensable part of european culture, But why can’t they just stop their continuing guilt propaganda against the europeans for what happened nearly a century ago.
    I am personally sick and tired of it. I guess that goes for a lot of other people too. SO STOP IT.”

    Big contradiction in your post. On the one hand you are “sick and tired of guilt propaganda”, on the other hand you claim they are “indispensable”. That doesn’t add up. You are just afraid to cross the taboo line.

    They are responsible for the horrors of communism. And for sicking Americans into WW2 in order to fetch Europe for them. And they are responsible for multicult, for no other purpose than to destroy us. But now they are losing, as they admit themselves:

    Europe is quietly disengaging itself from empire:

    Macron is flirting with Moscow in the wake of Brexit:

    That’s 640 million, nuclear armed to the teeth, biding its time.

    And then there US white nationalism, that can be used against Washington.

    And then there is China of 1400 million, preying on Australia.

    “Australia must prepare for a Chinese military base in the Pacific”

    It doesn’t look good for Anglo-Zionism at all.

    I have never been so upbeat since I wrote my first freelancer’s invoice, in the eighties.

    “claes” = Flemish?

  23. claes on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 1:36 am 

    No clogg, it’s not contradictionary. I’m just lecturing some old school jews (and local lefties), that their policy is contraproductive. Put another way: GET OVER IT
    If you don’t want to get over it, you will just see a lot of youngsters asking what it has to do with them.
    Placing guilt on grand children for their grandparents faults will not give a positive dividend.

  24. joe on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 1:44 am 

    Actually u can’t stop antisemitism. The euro left contains allot of muslims. That’s because the liberal left has spent all it’s time and effort lying that the right is a bunch of racist white males. So now the LGBTQ lobby has to rely on mass numbers of votes who truly believe God created adam and eve not adam and Steve only they bend to mecca. Muslims are happy to be used in this way cause the qoran says use all routes to power even if u have to be a slave. So we are seeing the beginning now. Antisemitism is a sickness of the left now, not the right.

  25. claes on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 1:48 am 

    Jews are creating more sceptics than friends by continuing their emphasis on old wrongs, instead of pointing to common positive contemporary interests.

  26. Cloggie on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 4:23 am 

    Interim successor for Bolton nominated, a Charles Kupperman:

    He is jewish.

  27. Cloggie on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 5:39 am 

    Northern-Ireland Backstop compromise coming up.
    As a sweetener BoJo is going to build a bridge between Scotland and NI, probably to make point.

    F* DUP

  28. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 6:28 am 

    Treasonous left! The horribleness of what is going on with the extremist liberal left is surfacing. Heads will be rolling soon. I am amazed that so many educated people were dooped. I am also amazed that this deceit was carried on for so long.

    “Michael Flynn Exonerated By Bombshell DoJ Memo Exposed During Hearing” sara carter

    “A bombshell revelation was barely noticed at National Security Advisor Michael Flynn’s hearing Tuesday, when his counsel revealed in court the existence of a Justice Department memo from Jan. 30, 2017 exonerating Flynn of any collusion with Russia. The memo, which has still not been made available to Flynn’s attorney Sidney Powell, is part of a litany of Brady material she is demanding from prosecutors. The memo is currently under protective order and Powell is working with prosecutors to get it disclosed, has learned.”

    “Powell will likely seek to have case dismissed for ‘egregious’ prosecutorial misconduct and withholding of exculpatory material. “Judge Sullivan is obviously taking the Brady issues very seriously and clearly told the prosecutors that his Brady order stands regardless of the plea agreement or the plea,” Powell told “If the prosecutors here were seeking justice instead of a conviction, General Flynn would not have been prosecuted. They have been hiding evidence that he was exonerated in early 2017.”

    “Comey suggested that Trump’s request was inappropriate, accusing him of obstructing justice by asking him to drop Flynn’s case. He used this as a pretense to leak his memos and put the nation through more than two years of Robert Mueller’s Special Counsel, which in the end found no evidence of a conspiracy with Russia. As for obstruction, Attorney General William Barr and then Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein concluded that there was no obstruction based on the evidence gathered by Mueller’s team. However, if Comey would have advised Trump of the Jan. 30 memo it would have cleared up any unfounded lies that Flynn had in any way colluded or conspired with Russia. If and when this memo is made public, the ongoing narrative continuing to be pushed by those former Obama officials, as well as, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff who continues to push for hearings on obstruction will be squashed. It looks like Comey, who would have been fully aware of this memo, has a lot of explaining to do.”

  29. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 6:29 am 

    “DOJ Inspector General Expected To Conclude Carter Page FISA Warrants Illegally Obtained: Jim Jordan” zero hedge

    “Justice Department Inspector General Michael Horowitz will likely find that all four Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) warrants against 2016 Trump campaign aide Carter Page were obtained illegally, according to Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH), top Republican on the House Oversight and Reform Committee…The investigation into alleged FISA abuse against the Trump campaign by DOJ and FBI officials has reportedly been completed. After a declassification period, the report could be released sometime in September. The contents of the report have not been confirmed. Attorney General William Barr, who is overseeing U.S. Attorney John Durham’s investigation into the origins of the Russia investigation, said he is working closely with Horowitz, and they will take up any criminal referrals Horowitz might make. Former U.S. Attorney Joe diGenova said he has heard the initial FISA warrant against Page and the three renewals at three-month intervals were illegally obtained. He told the Washington Examiner’s Examining Politics podcast late last month that he got his insider information because the report is “being circulated inside and outside of the department for comment by interested parties.” -Washington Examiner Jordan also noted that he wants Horowitz to testify about his reports on former FBI Director James Comey, and asked “When is somebody going to jail for wrongdoing that took place in the Trump-Russia investigation or even the Clinton investigation?”

  30. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 6:30 am 

    The East is rising

    “Chinese Auto Sales Crash For The 14th Time In 15 Months, Falling 9.9%” zero hedge

    “Chinese auto sales continue to plunge deeper into recession, with the country’s China Passenger Car Association releasing preliminary data for August that in no way indicates that the trend could be slowing. Instead, it has been a “historically prolonged slump” for the world’s largest car market, according to Bloomberg. The CPCA reported on Monday that sales of sedans, SUVs, minivans and multipurpose vehicles in August fell 9.9% to 1.59 million units. It has been the industry’s largest downturn in three decades and automakers are still facing headwinds as trade tensions with the U.S. continue. China has tried to roll out several stimulus measures to help the industry, including loosening car purchase restrictions, but they have done little to encourage consumption thus far.”

  31. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 6:30 am 

    “Manila confirms African swine fever, pigs culled” taipei times

    “Philippine authorities suspect the swine fever cases stemmed from backyard hog raisers who feed pigs “swill,” leftover food scraps from hotels and restaurants. The agriculture department said the virus could also be traced to smuggled frozen meat and returning overseas workers who brought back infected meat products.”

    “Patients die as Manila traffic jams block ambulances” digital journal

    “At peak hours, the main arteries of Manila are clogged with idling cars — a 25-kilometre (16-mile) end to end drive through the main highway can take as long as three hours. Home to some 13 million, there is nearly one vehicle registered per person. The resulting gridlock costs the city $67 million daily in lost productivity, according to a 2017 Japanese government-funded study.”

  32. Cloggie on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 7:55 am 

    9/11 live stream:

  33. supremacist muzzie monkey on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 8:02 am 

    I educated the colonel and found gatestone institute mnd made chairman but he loves muzzies
    His firing will be replaced with an even bigger muzzie lover
    Muzzie sabotaged plane supertard say love muzzie deeper 100x
    You guys agree

  34. supremacist muzzie on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 8:04 am 

    Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 6:30 am
    Above is supertard obv.

  35. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 8:27 am 



  36. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 8:57 am 

    WTF any of my above zero iq copy and paste nonsense have to do with defeating the American Empire, I have zero idea. I must be getting desparate to try to change the subject. It isn’t working. The Empire is still collapsing.

  37. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 9:03 am 

    Did I mention I’m voting liberal in the next election?

    I think I might of.

  38. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 9:06 am 

    Did I mention nobody reads my boring word salads?

  39. Davy Lies Again on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 9:10 am 


    “heads rolling” yeah, heads rolling in laughter in your stupid conspiracy theories that always surface around one month intervals.

    If this was such a breaking story, why must you quote from some obscure right-wing web site?

    Always the liar and hypocrite-always.

  40. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 9:18 am 

    Did I mention how lame I think this unmoderated forum is, and that I am concentrating all my idle time on my own blog?

  41. supremacist muzzie jerk on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 10:25 am 

    Imam supertard big muzzie beard pbuh reports Michigan supertards ask if muzzies took michigan then supertard answered self that muzzies did

  42. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 10:29 am 

    “I Love Spam Madly, Deeply, Unironically” lenny

    “I am skilled at classical French cooking. I have a Higher Certificate from the Wine and Spirits Education Trust. I also, however, love Spam. (In case you were wondering, Spam pairs well with Gewürztraminer.) I kept kosher for a few years (long story). When I broke away from the dietary laws — because I was quitting smoking and could not maintain so many forms of self-abnegation at once — the food item I cheated with was Spam. It symbolizes both the part of me that is Korean and the part of me that is American — two identities that are difficult to unite. More important, I associate Spam with relaxation, being present, and not worrying about what you can’t control. Why? Because Spam evokes beaches, pineapples, funny tropical shirts: i.e., Hawaii. It’s the one place in the world where I can be un-stressed-out, and it happens to be the only U.S. state that loves Spam as much as I do. Mainland Americans have given me no end of grief for this. First rule of Spam Club: You never talk about Spam Club. Otherwise, you risk social death. Case in point: When I was at university, my friend Mike told me that his freshman-year roommate threw out Mike’s Spam and gave him $5 to cover the cost. But Mike and I both had a really good excuse for this embarrassing proclivity: We’re of Korean extraction, and Korea is the world’s largest consumer of Spam outside the United States. How did Korea become hooked on the laughingstock of all supermarket products? The meat that was so ridiculous that Monty Python created not only a sketch around it but an entire Broadway musical? A bit of history: Spam has been manufactured by the Austin, Minnesota-based Hormel Foods Corporation since 1937. It became widespread in Korea during and after the Korean War (1950 to 1953), when the U.S. government shipped loads of Spam to Korea, at a time when fresh meat was hard to come by. Korea was by no means the only beneficiary of this largesse; during and after WWII, the U.K. also turned to Spam to supplement monthly meat rations. In fact, articles on Spam’s role in wartime Britain bear titles such as “Spam: Did It Save the Nation?” (Here are some nostalgic British WWII-era Spam recipes.) Unlike the U.K., however, where they poke fun at Spam, Korean Spam consumption was unironic. While modern-day Brits no longer regularly eat Spam, it has remained part of the diet in Korea. In September 2017, Korean sales of Spam reached 1 billion tins. And Spam’s Korean co-distributor, Cheil Jedang, announced in January that its top-selling New Year gift box was Spam. In my day, the tins were usually packed in velvet-lined boxes and wrapped in white satin ribbon. Spam is an important part of Korean home cooking. It’s the sine qua non ingredient of kimchi jjigae (stewed kimchi) and budae jjigae — literally “army stew.” My mother, a biochemist with a particular fear of foodborne illnesses, was virulently anti-pork, making it sound like a veritable menagerie of revolting organisms — trichinosis, tapeworm, hepatitis, all reproducing at exponential rates. Yet we always had Spam in our pantry. Apparently Koreans are now accepting their love of the lowbrow: David Chang, the Michelin-starred Korean-American chef, is extolling Spam. Spam’s enduring popularity in Korea surprises me, because I had assumed Koreans were now prosperous enough to abandon any food item that you need a key to open. This is a common phenomenon, though — hardship habits die hard. Some Germans raised on the substitute coffee product “Ersatzkaffee” — either during the Second World War or subsequently in the former GDR — occasionally used the bad stuff over real coffee much longer than was necessary. Wartime food is a symbol of survival. I am constantly surprised by how many non-Koreans have never seen Spam, so I’ll describe it. It’s like gefilte fish but made from compressed processed ham. As with gefilte fish, Spam is surrounded by a clear gelatinous amniotic fluid. After you open the tin (now it’s regular pull-tab, but when I was growing up, you needed to twirl open the top with a key), you hit the bottom until the Spam block pops out, though most of the time you need to go around the edge with a knife. When it exits the can’s vacuum seal, it makes a slurpy noise, like when you push cranberry jelly out of a tin. Whenever we moved house — which was pretty often — the first meal in our new home, usually eaten on moving boxes instead of tables — was Spam and instant ramen. Spam is already fully cooked, but in my house we usually fried it anyway, cut into narrow slabs. When my family lived in the United States, my parents were really into long road trips to national parks, which I enjoyed about as much as those kids did in the movie National Lampoon’s Vacation. And my parents must have been victims of Manchurian Candidate levels of Midwestern American suburban brainwashing, because they really did sing folk songs in harmony while driving — “I’ve Been Workin’ on the Railroad” comes to mind. At the end of a long day in the car, we’d stay in these cheap hotels, where my mother would violate the hotel fire code — and every basic tenet of the social contract — by secretly making rice and frying up Spam right on the floor of the hotel room. She’d use a rice cooker and hot plate THAT SHE HAD BROUGHT FROM HOME. On one such occasion, I spilled my Spam and rice all over the hotel carpet, leading her to yell at me, “This hotel will never let Oriental [sic] people stay here again!” To which I replied, “Erm … why should they, really?” So Spam, in other words, evokes all kinds of memories: changing house, boring road trips, and my cheap-ass family. There is no substitute for Spam. When I lived in France, where Spam was unavailable, I was forced to resort to a depressing Danish knock-off. A few years ago, I went with some Korean-American friends to a trendy Korean restaurant in New York (not David Chang’s, a different one). We ordered the aforementioned budae jjigae, the army stew, so named because it was invented using random U.S. Army-provided rations, like Spam, hot dogs, and waxy government-manufactured cheese. This restaurant’s upscale version, however, was made with homemade ramen noodles, high-quality mozzarella, and what looked like Spam but was too fancy. “I’m really not into this artisanal Spam,” my friend said, grimacing and poking at it with a chopstick. I agreed. It felt wrong to dress up a poor man’s dish, like making puttanesca sauce with caviar or cottage pie with chopped truffles. Which — what am I saying? — probably does exist somewhere. I’m not a purist about food, but I do object when I feel that people are just missing the ontological essence of a dish. I needed the real thing. The healthy versions are not nearly salty or greasy enough, and the salt and grease are precisely why Spam goes so well with rice. By far the most common form in which I’ve eaten Spam is in the form of kimbap. Imagine maki rolls — the kind of sushi that is rolled into logs and cut into small cylinders — but instead of fish, they contain vegetables, a thin omelet cut into strips, and, in our house, Spam. Kimbap wasn’t really dinner food. I associate it primarily with picnics. In Korean school, kimbap was, without exception, the food that everyone’s mom packed for their kids’ school-picnic lunches. As a sullen teen, I hated those picnics with a passion you can only imagine. They were hokey affairs with long hikes and teachers screaming at you about what a nice fucking day we were having. Invariably, some tool would bring a guitar, and everyone would be forced to sing. To this day, I hate acoustic guitar. But then there was my Spam kimbap. It was a reminder that this hell passing for a picnic was only temporary, and that somewhere out there was a mother with whom I battled daily but who had nonetheless gotten up at dawn to make me Spam kimbap. My mother, in addition to the frugality, had a psychological hang-up about food. She hated cooking and resented that it was considered the domain of women. Cooking symbolized her wasted education and the career sacrifices she had made for her family. Perhaps because of her hostility toward cooking, I hated food until age twelve or so. I remember wishing it were possible to take a pill instead of having to eat dinner. Consequently, I looked like a famine victim. When I hit puberty, though, my metabolism kicked in, and I developed a normal teenage appetite. This concerned my mother. When I was five-foot-six (167 centimeters) and my weight crept past the 115-pound mark (52 kilograms), she put me on a kale-juice diet. And trust me, kale was not easy to find in those days. Yay, body dysmorphia. And yet, paradoxically, she also served me greasy, salty, insanely caloric Spam, always fried. Why, you ask? Well, isn’t it obvious? Fried foods are always evocative of love. The smell of frying itself is mouth-watering — be it Spam, tempura, croquettes, or chicken drumsticks. Even people who don’t like you can make a sandwich. I mean, what is the office deli platter if not hard evidence of that? But no one who hates you will fry you some Spam. I remember from those school picnics that some of the other kids’ mothers didn’t use Spam in their kimbap, instead using surimi, that pink fake-crab thing. Surimi — now, that’s bad parenting. Life is too short to have more than one dubious processed-meat product in your kitchen: Let Spam be it.”

  43. supremacist muzzie jerk on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 10:30 am 

    I hardly spend time on this forum. Waiting for learjet to warm up for joyride then back to work on blog

  44. Geeze the lunatic is in the house on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 10:38 am 

    juanpaultard posts:

    supremacist muzzie jerk said I hardly spend time on this forum. Waiting for le…
    Davy said “I Love Spam Madly, Deeply, Unironically” https://
    supremacist muzzie jerk said Imam supertard big muzzie beard pbuh reports Michi…
    Davy said Did I mention how lame I think this unmoderated fo…
    Davy Lies Again said DavySkum: “heads rolling” yeah, heads…
    Davy said Did I mention nobody reads my boring word salads?
    Davy said Did I mention I’m voting liberal in the next elect…
    Davy said WTF any of my above zero iq copy and paste nonsens…
    Davy said Obv. dumbass
    supremacist muzzie said Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 6:30 am Above is supert…
    supremacist muzzie monkey said I educated the colonel and found gatestone institu…

  45. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 10:40 am 

    Not a joyride stupid. My wife was in Italy and she wasn’t feeling all that good. It you had a private jet you’d do the same thing. Did I mention I went for long hikes in the mountains when I was there?


  46. Davy Sock on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 10:41 am 

    the lunatic

  47. Davy Sock on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 10:44 am 


  48. Davy on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 10:50 am 

    2005-2018 Conventional Crude Production on a Bumpy Plateau – With a Little Help from Iraq resilience

    “Summary: In the last 4 years, conventional crude production was just 1 mb/d higher than in 2005. This was mainly an increase from Iraq (which was 2.7 mb/d).”

  49. juan paultard madness on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 10:52 am 

    what an ugly non-contributor. Ban the fuck nut

    Davy Sock said juanpaultard
    Davy Sock said the lunatic
    Davy said Not a joyride stupid. My wife was in Italy and she…

  50. juan paultard madness on Wed, 11th Sep 2019 11:05 am 

    Oops, sorry for getting all triggered and losing my widdle temper again everyone.

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