Would like the board's opinion on my current situation...

[Oneaboveall]

My advice to you is to manup, quit feeling sorry for yourself, get a real job, quit mooching off mommy, deal with your woman issues or simply ignore they exist and most of all grow a pair.

I hope this advice will send you on your way to being the productive citizen that I fully expect you are capable of being.

Cog, You are being mean. Not everyone is as psychologically tough as you. And in the current environment, I am sure a lot of people are having a (emotional) depression and suffers a terrible loss of self-esteem. Suicide rates are high.

It cost you NOTHING to give verbal advice is a gentle and kind way. I was mean to others in the past then one day I found myself on the other side. And so I regret and will regret to the day I die, how mean I was to others in the past. The knowledge that I was mean to others will live with me forever. It's a stain that I can never wash off.

I would ask everyone to please not quote Cog as I put him on my ignore list, but he shows up if you quote him.

As for you Cog, let me say this: You are the biggest piece of shit walking the face of god's green Earth. You think you're hot shit just cause you run your own business? A business that depends on government contracts? And you want to call other people moochers? Like I said before, for all you've accomplished, you count for absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. Yet you think you can talk to everyone like they're garbage. Insulting everyone on the board doesn't make you look tough; it makes you look like a pussy who talks tough from behind a keyboard. Why don't you do the world a favor and go walk in front of a fucking bus, asshole.

[peeker01]

Oneaboveall - The world is full of cogs (sorry cog). Job One in your return to the workforce
is to learn how deal successfully with people you don't like or don't agree with. Not trying
to be mean, just trying to help.

[pstarr]

Oneaboveall, there is no shame in sharing a life with your extended family. That is how the world has always worked. The fully-functional isolated single-family home is a very recent development. Folks didn't used to have their own kitchen, shop, entertainment center, garage. They shared (how un-American). Prehistoric humans lived in tribes, pre-industrial man lived in tight communities and towns. Kibbutz children live in group houses. Native Americans lived in long houses. Cheap petroleum and industrial automation have done us little favor. We live isolated in our splendor and dependent on more cheap petroleum to fill our empty lives with consumer products.

The United States of America is rife with Cogs. Folks who were born on 3rd base and seriously believe they've hit home runs and are God's Gift to The World. American delusion.

It does sound like you are depressed though. You should not carry the world and it's screwups on your shoulders. It is not you fault. Get help.

[EnergyUnlimited]

[some very sad life story - EU]....Given that I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, what do you all think is a reasonable course of action?

You need well off girlfriend.
Be nice to her and hope for the best.

[SeaGypsy]

Yeah plenty of 'well off g/f's' out there when you're unemployed living with the olds aged near 30? Don't think so.

Reacting so badly to Cog is not a great sign, as others have stated, his opinion is far from unique.

Disengagement is probably your worst enemy, reacting negatively to critical people feeds into disengagement. Better to be doing something, even for nothing financially.

[Cog]

Contrary to some people's belief, I wasn't handed anything. Whether it was digging ditches, painting houses, working offshore drilling rigs, and now surveying, I was always working to improve my situation by having a superior work ethic to those around me. If you are on the ball, you look at economic trends and readjust your game plan based on what is possible and how you fit in the overall scheme of things. I don't know if Oneaboveall ever saved any money along the way in case his plans fell through, but it doesn't sound like it to me.

I'm not going to handhold and sugar-coat the new economic reality for Oneaboveall, as is the practice of some here. Above all, he doesn't need to wallow in self-pity and fantasize about what might have been, but get out and make a new reality happen for him.

The new economic paradigm is one of brutal job competition. If you aren't willing to tackle that, you are going to end up on the bottom of the economic heap.

I'm not a cruel person but I do believe in being realistic at all times. If his degrees aren't working for him, then toss them out and figure out what he wants to do to be a productive citizen. At least he is thinking about doing something which edges him a notch above people who give up and sit on their ass all day everyday. Last I saw, fairness was not something guaranteed by being born. Some people don't like that but there it is.

Oneaboveall may have psychological issues. Trust me, we all do. And guess what, the job world doesn't care one wit about your abusive father. Manup and get out of the house and compete the best you can. Luck favors the audacious and bold not the timid.

[Oneaboveall]

Reacting so badly to Cog is not a great sign, as others have stated, his opinion is far from unique...

Cog has been asking for someone to tell him off for a long time. It has nothing to do with "reacting badly"; it has everything to do with putting a jerk in his place.

[EnergyUnlimited]

Yeah plenty of 'well off g/f's' out there when you're unemployed living with the olds aged near 30? Don't think so.

Maybe some divorcee in her 40-ties with good career or a widow?
Plenty of singles around... he just has to be nice, kind and smiling.

[Cog]

Reacting so badly to Cog is not a great sign, as others have stated, his opinion is far from unique...

Cog has been asking for someone to tell him off for a long time. It has nothing to do with "reacting badly"; it has everything to do with putting a jerk in his place.

I'm trying to help you out here. You need to do an honest assessment of where you are at, how you got to where you are now, and bust some ass to get to a better place. That has been and is my advice. As this country spirals downward into economic chaos, things are only going to get tougher for all of us. Break out of that self-pity routine and improve your situation. I don't know if you have been sheltered from life's realities or not, but its time to wake up to a rather different economic world than you grew up in.

You can start by finding a job. Any job. You will feel better about yourself right off the bat. Working in fast food is a humbling experience. Trust me, after doing it for four years in college, while seemingly everyone else partied, I made sure I wouldn't have to do it again. But do it again I would if I had to.

[EnergyUnlimited]

You can start by finding a job. Any job. You will feel better about yourself right off the bat. Working in fast food is a humbling experience. Trust me, after doing it for four years in college, while seemingly everyone else partied, I made sure I wouldn't have to do it again. But do it again I would if I had to.

Even if paid in chips?

[SeaGypsy]

Timing is important, many of us here have banged heads with Cog at some point, but on this he is essentially right. It's best on a board like this if we all try to stick with the subject at hand and address the post in response, rather than becoming emotionally clouded by past communication with particular board members. Some people visiting have no idea what past conversations have taken place.

One thing I would bet is that Cog has had to deal with more than his fair share of a$$holes in his time and that he probably has some very practical techniques for doing so. His mentioning the importance of work ethic is touching on this.

It is true that while working, one learns about work. You can learn things from garbage cleaning which apply to teaching and vis-versa. It is vital to keep motivated, nomatter how hard it seems. Responsibility is a good thing if it keeps you going. My children are my biggest motivator. If not for them I probably would already be set up in a mountain cave.

[Cog]

You can start by finding a job. Any job. You will feel better about yourself right off the bat. Working in fast food is a humbling experience. Trust me, after doing it for four years in college, while seemingly everyone else partied, I made sure I wouldn't have to do it again. But do it again I would if I had to.

Even if paid in chips?

Its funny you mentioned chips. I worked at a Long John Silvers as a cook. After getting back to the dorm with a shitload of leftover french fries and fish, which I traded for beer, I would sit and study until 0200 and do it all over again the next day. Yeah, I would work for chips.

[PrestonSturges]

You mentioned a lousy home environment as a child and perplexing problems as an adult.

Have you tried a program like Al-Anon? You have the time. It's a good way to meet people, although many of them can be distractions. Find a program and work it hard. There is no telling where it will go, but it will change your perspective.

[Sixstrings]

2) Start some sort of business. You'll need transportation, most likely. I had a "maid" a few years back, who was about my age (50s) and a slightly overweight white guy. Not much education. He made, he claimed, about $50K a year cleaning houses. We paid him $70. I doubt he was ever here for more than 3 hours. I think he did 3 of those a day. It wasn't much, but it kept the wolf from the door. Cash business. Few if any taxes and he had all the work he could handle.

That's actually not a bad idea. I don't know for sure about the money part, but I've run into people too over the years who have a "cleaning business." They seem to make a living at it. The nice thing is this appears to be an industry where big corp chains haven't taken over. Lot of businesses use cleaning services (all the doctors and dentist offices do, lawyers offices accountants insurance etc., call centers, some retail like car rental).. get a couple contracts going and hey you're in business. Hardly any investment involved.. windex, paper towels. That's about it.

And the thing is.. if you're going to do a crap job, it's much nicer to be the *owner* in business for yourself.

[americandream]

@oneaboveall

Some on this forum are symptomatic of society's malaise where those who are invariably the fastest to the mooch line when life turns hard for them, are also the first to proffer "manly" advice. However, if there's anything to learn from these critters, it's that you're largely on your own and you are going to have to think creatively to improve the quality of what gives you satisfaction and meaning. That's the nature of a system that promotes self interest above all else. Just take this as a lesson on what confronts you and use some creative out of the box thinking.

There's a whole lot you can do out there, both within the system and on the margins of it. It all depends on what inspires you. I had long fancied the idea of living a communal life but my life has essentially revolved around the financial services which I excel in so I have sort of combined the two and live a fairly rural life surrounded by all manner of sustainable initiatives but earn a living from the finance world, self employed.

I prepared myself for this transition whilst working as a lawyer...so to that extent, I used my employment to open a gateway into transition. Just an example of how an existing situation can be made to work for you and how one can arrive at a nice mix by creative compromise. You need to first work out what it is that inspires you creatively.

[Oneaboveall]

You mentioned a lousy home environment as a child and perplexing problems as an adult...

I did have a lousy home environment, true. I do think I did pretty well for myself despite of it. I'm guessing most people who come from that environment don't get master's degrees. I should also note that I don't drink at all anymore, but my sister and other relatives do. Funny thing is they all have steady jobs despite some obvious problems with alcohol (Granted they don't drink at work, but get them at a party and watch them go. We had a wedding about a month ago and all of my cousins were drunk).

[Sixstrings]

Oneaboveall,

You haven't really described your job search (we don't need details though). What's really the situation, are you at the end of your rope as far as finding something you went to college for? Finding a career position?

How do you feel about working any job, anything, just to get working and some money coming in?

Is depression the issue and you just feel stuck? I know what that's like, I've been laid off before. For professionals this is a tough spot, they really don't want to work outside their chosen field. But IMHO anyway it's important to keep working no matter what it is. Keeps your skills up, how to deal with people etc.

OTOH I've seen studies that show once professional downgrade in job choices, most don't recover their previous income. It's a tough thing going on in the US, there are millions of former professionals spending 2, 3, 4 years looking for something like what they had previously. So the question is at what point does one take any job, just to get working again.

P.S. what about virtual schools on the internet. I know a guy who got a job like that, my state has an online school option. So he just works from home or wherever he wants to. He also teaches University of Phoenix online. Could this be an option for you? You wouldn't have to deal with bosses in person.

[Oneaboveall]

@oneaboveall

Some on this forum are symptomatic of society's malaise where those who are invariably the fastest to the mooch line when life turns hard for them, are also the first to proffer "manly" advice. However, if there's anything to learn from these critters, it's that you're largely on your own and you are going to have to think creatively to improve the quality of what gives you satisfaction and meaning. That's the nature of a system that promotes self interest above all else. Just take this as a lesson on what confronts you and use some creative out of the box thinking.

There's a whole lot you can do out there, both within the system and on the margins of it. It all depends on what inspires you. I had long fancied the idea of living a communal life but my life has essentially revolved around the financial services which I excel in so I have sort of combined the two and live a fairly rural life surrounded by all manner of sustainable initiatives but earn a living from the finance world, self employed.

I prepared myself for this transition whilst working as a lawyer...so to that extent, I used my employment to open a gateway into transition. Just an example of how an existing situation can be made to work for you and how one can arrive at a nice mix by creative compromise. You need to first work out what it is that inspires you creatively.

Like I said before AmericanDream, there are lot of insightful people on this board and I consider you to among their number.

I tell you honestly though... it's not only being unemployed; it's also looking at what I've done as well. The primary purpose of this board is the discussion of resource depletion and, when I actually think about it, haven't I contributed to that issue as much as anyone? I collect toys and have accumulated a huge collection over the years.

I'm sure you don't consider this:

013 by oneaboveall23, on Flickr
to be anymore significant than the cheap "garden gnomes" you've mentioned a few times. By buying this stuff, which costs energy and material to make, haven't I helped to waste precious resources?

[peeker01]

Everybody has a hobby. Don't beat yourself up. I bet even american dream indulges himself
in some kind of hobby, when he's not spewing anti-american rhetoric here on po.

[Oneaboveall]

Oneaboveall,

You haven't really described your job search (we don't need details though). What's really the situation, are you at the end of your rope as far as finding something you went to college for? Finding a career position?

How do you feel about working any job, anything, just to get working and some money coming in?

Is depression the issue and you just feel stuck? I know what that's like, I've been laid off before. For professionals this is a tough spot, they really don't want to work outside their chosen field. But IMHO anyway it's important to keep working no matter what it is. Keeps your skills up, how to deal with people etc...

well, the whole point of getting the MLIS at Clarion was to start a new career, as my previous one wasn't for me. Right now, it seems that everyplace wants experience and/or some bizarre requirement (e.g. being able to speak French and Japanese). I really would like to work in a library at some point, but that's been the part that's been such a slog.