A message from the UK to the USA

GASMON · **Posted:** Thu Sep 18, 2008 10:22 am

JPL wrote:

For the benefit of all 'merkins on this board, the above is a 4-weeled, desk-sized, British-made, ashtray. It is about 8 inches long from end-to-end. When it fills up, you buy a new one.

JP

Well, I said Moses came DOWN the mountain in his Triumph, only god knows how it got up there in the first place. !!!

Gasmon

JPL · **Posted:** Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:28 pm

GASMON wrote:

Well, I said Moses came DOWN the mountain in his Triumph, only god knows how it got up there in the first place. !!!

Gasmon

Well in modern terms it would be by a liquidity crisis followed by a govt. bail-out. Oh wait, hang on...

JP

charliebrownout · **Joined:** Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:00 am **Posts:** 294

GASMON wrote:

Anyway ----

George Bush met The Queen, and he turns round and says: "As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom."

The Queen replies "I'm sorry Mr. Bush, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King."

George Bush thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?"

To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr. Bush".

Bush thought long and hard and came up with "How about an Empire then?"

The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replies "Sorry again, Mr. Bush, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and you are not an Emperor."

Before George Bush could utter another word, the Queen said: "I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country."

Gasmon

Yes, but I don't think it's spelled with an "o" in the sense you're using it....

I think both jabs are great--with or without any actual words from John Cleese.

I'd love to move to country where the government was sensible and sane, and the majority of the population well read, articulate and friendly.

So far, I haven't found one that meets the criteria, so I guess I'll stay put.

Edit to add: To any UK people, I've always wondered, just what exactly DID you think the first time you ever heard the term "fanny pack"?

GASMON · **Posted:** Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:14 am

charliebrownout wrote:

To any UK people, I've always wondered, just what exactly DID you think the first time you ever heard the term "fanny pack"?

Isn't it the documentation pack you get when you take out a sub-prime mortgage ?

Gasmon

jbrovont · **Joined:** Fri Jun 16, 2006 12:00 am **Posts:** 842

Motion carried by the ayes.

miraculix wrote:

I second

shortonoil · **Posted:** Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:41 am

Have a good evening ladies and gentlemen, we’ll “knock you up in the morning”.

newbonic · **Posted:** Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:35 pm

TWilliam wrote:

Ahem, yes... well...

4. The British film industry will no longer portray all Americans as cowboys, rednecks, trailer trash or Beverly Hills billionaires. Hollywood will continue to use "Mockney" and "Posh" British accents as this makes it easier for viewers to identify which characters are British. You can have Hugh Grant back. He's a lousy actor and we don't want him either. .

We'll take Hugh Grant back if you'll take Madonna back.. :-D

charliebrownout · **Joined:** Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:00 am **Posts:** 294

GASMON wrote:

charliebrownout wrote:

To any UK people, I've always wondered, just what exactly DID you think the first time you ever heard the term "fanny pack"?

Isn't it the documentation pack you get when you take out a sub-prime mortgage ?

Gasmon

Ooftah...

Yeah, I guess so :oops:

JPL · **Posted:** Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:31 pm

charliebrownout wrote:

Edit to add: To any UK people, I've always wondered, just what exactly DID you think the first time you ever heard the term "fanny pack"?

A type of tennis stroke??? I'm confused...

JP

KevO · **Joined:** Tue May 24, 2005 12:00 am **Posts:** 2541

JPL wrote:

charliebrownout wrote:

Edit to add: To any UK people, I've always wondered, just what exactly DID you think the first time you ever heard the term "fanny pack"?

A type of tennis stroke??? I'm confused...

JP

fanny in th UK is a good mannered way of saying pussy - not the feline variety. So a fanny pack is something we assumed was only seen on nudist beaches and in porn films.
I once heard someone say,in the US, 'look at the size of her fanny'

Denny · **Posted:** Sun Sep 21, 2008 9:40 am

Cashmere wrote:

There should be a rule that, if a person to whom you are speaking uses the word "like" more than 5 times in one sentence, you are allowed to smash them in their face.

Sarah Palin, watch out!

JPL · **Posted:** Sun Sep 21, 2008 12:34 pm

KevO wrote:

JPL wrote:

charliebrownout wrote:

Edit to add: To any UK people, I've always wondered, just what exactly DID you think the first time you ever heard the term "fanny pack"?

A type of tennis stroke??? I'm confused...

JP

fanny in th UK is a good mannered way of saying pussy - not the feline variety. So a fanny pack is something we assumed was only seen on nudist beaches and in porn films.
I once heard someone say,in the US, 'look at the size of her fanny'

Ah, crumpet. Well why the hell can't they just say so, man. Damn yanks...

JP

the48thronin · **Posted:** Sun Sep 21, 2008 12:47 pm

KevO wrote:

fanny in th UK is a good mannered way of saying pussy - not the feline variety. So a fanny pack is something we assumed was only seen on nudist beaches and in porn films.
I once heard someone say,in the US, 'look at the size of her fanny'

in the US fanny is in the same region of the body, but on the other side...Turn her over and look in the same general region.......LOl

silly brits, they smoke fags LOL

Madpaddy · **Joined:** Fri Jun 25, 2004 12:00 am **Posts:** 2151

A Letter from an Irish Mother
Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this slowly because I know you can't read fast. You wont know the house when you get home, 'cos we've moved.

Your Father has a lovely new job with 700 men under him - he cuts grass at the cemetery. There was a washing machine at the new house, but it's not working too good. Last week I put in 12 shirts, pulled the chain and I haven't seen them since.

Your sister, Colleen had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out if it's a boy or girl, so I don't know if you're an uncle or aunt.

Your Uncle Mick drowned last week in a vat of Whisky at the Dublin Distillery. His mates tried to save him, but he fought them off bravely. He was cremated and it took four days to put the fire out.

I saw the doctor last week and your Father went with me. Doc put a glass tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for five minuets. Your Father wanted to buy it from him. It only rained twice this week, first for four days the second for three days.

We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the final payment on your Grandmother's grave wasn't paid in seven days - up she comes.

Your loving Mother XXXX

P.S. I was going to send you 10 Punt, but I'd already sealed the envelope.

charliebrownout · **Joined:** Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:00 am **Posts:** 294

the48thronin wrote:

KevO wrote:

fanny in th UK is a good mannered way of saying pussy - not the feline variety. So a fanny pack is something we assumed was only seen on nudist beaches and in porn films.
I once heard someone say,in the US, 'look at the size of her fanny'

in the US fanny is in the same region of the body, but on the other side...Turn her over and look in the same general region.......LOl

silly brits, they smoke fags LOL

I'm pretty sure some backwards, antisocial personality-types do the same here in the US...but the police are typically involved

A message from the UK to the USA

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